Funny Car Story

Just so you know, this is all true and I didn't embellish one bit of this story.

On Saturday I went to the Gift Show with my mom while Dave stayed home with Emily for a few hours. On my way home I called to see if Dave needed anything, he wanted some beer. I was hesitant to stop because I have a nasty head cold and I was really tired, but a beer was sounding pretty good so I obliged. I hopped out of the Honda which I don't usually drive and ran inside the AM/PM and grabbed a Fosters and a Bud Light Chelada. The line was long but not bad. As I walked back out to the car I realized I had left the lights on, my stomach dropped. This car is old, not quite an antique, but its getting up there in years. So was it's poor battery evidently.

Emily was napping when I called Dave back with the good news and the bad news. Good news, I got beer, bad news, the car wont start. I went inside to talk to the guys that worked at AM/PM to see if they could lend a hand. I had no jumper cables, but they assured me in broken English they had some and they would be right out. Ranjib, no joke here, told me I needed to add water to my battery and made me repeat back to him what I was supposed to do. This alone was hilarious as he was opening the hood of his car smoking and yelling at me to start the car.

Ranjib was revving the engine of his minivan and smoking and yelling as our cars were hooked together. This went on for about 15 minutes. This is usually long enough to charge the battery to get a jump in my opinion. I have done this enough times because the dumb car doesn't give a courteous little ding like most others do when you leave the lights on.

After a while his nephew, who was running the counter and now leaving the store completely unattended to, told me to ignore his crazy uncle and just go get a new battery, but then a light bulb appeared over the nephews head. "It manual or automatic?" he asked me. "Manual" I said, regretting what was going to come next. "You push." So me and Ranjib are pushing the car, back and forth through the parking lot as the nephew tries to engage the clutch and pop it started. In all this, at some point the nephews shoe came off. I grabbed it mid-push and threw it on top of the car. I am winded and tired. I call Dave.

Dave was loading Emily into her car seat when the nephew gets another bright idea, try some other jumper cables. Well, that did the trick. Ranjib had some bunk cables. I called Dave again and told him to turn around. So if you saw people at AM/PM on Saturday, pushing a little black car back and forth through the parking lot, that was me, dying of embarrassment.

To end on a good note, Dave got a new battery and now the car is running tip top.